The Ice Cream Man!

Cause I'm the ice cream man
I'm a one-man band
Yeah I'm the ice cream man
Honey, I'll be good to you!

(Doesn't he just ravish you?)

Music & food are a deadly combination of pleasures. If the witch had a gingerbread song instead of a gingerbread house, Hansel & Gretel would be dead meat. If the Sirens served pie, Odysseus would've gotten about as far as the silverware drawer. If someone sang me a minor tune about blueberries, I'd cry myself a Shenandoah and drown in the hot blue sky of my old Julys. And those blue heavens know my deepest dream has always been to serve Leonard Cohen tea & oranges that come all the way from China.

One of my coworkers came into work just before closing to buy 5 pounds of nectarines. She was going to sing about nectarines, and decided she ought to have the real ones right there. And last weekend, I was at a show where a real Ice Cream Man showed up -- and I'm telling you, honey, he was good to me. He gave away free ice cream to all the sad & happy drunk people in the dark. He knows how married they are, the food and the music. It's why I can't make pastry without the Pixies, or go to an old-time festival without a pie in my backpack. Even when I have to hitchhike.